Post Thanksgiving Gratitude!

My 46th birthday has just passed and I must say I am not feeling a bit different from when I was 45!  I am very fortunate to have my birthday fall on or about Thanksgiving every year as it allows me to have my family around to celebrate with me.  We are not all much on gifts (although my sister has been know to give brilliant birthday gifts), but we are big on hugs and singing and laughing and celebrating life.  And so for me Thanksgiving is also about never having to spend my birthday alone!

This year was the first year in many years that despite the concern over my advancing years (hahaha) that I enjoyed the entire Thanksgiving Day.  There was no fighting: there was no moping around until it was time to go to the families' houses: there was no fight picking: there was no feeling like an outsider.

My daughter and I woke up, had breakfast, perused the newspaper looking at all the Black Friday ads, watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade, prepared Christmas Wish Lists, and even did some (a lot) of online shopping, all without getting out of our pajamas.  Heck we did not even get out of bed, well I had to let the dogs out and bring the breakfast (most importantly COFFEE) upstairs.  But I got right back under the covers!!!  Gratefulness only begins to describe what is inside me this year.

In a year of so much transition: husband moving out on New Years' Eve while his daughter and I were at a party; the resulting divorce; major house renovations; water service lines rupturing; and being laid off from my job. . . It is amazing how much gratitude is in my heart.  

Out of all this transition has come some wonderful, life-changing gifts.  I have found out that I am stronger than I ever thought (and I thought I was pretty strong).  I found out that I am blessed with some of the best friends and family ever.  I determined that I can renovate my OLD house by myself (well with the help of friends and skilled tradespeople).  I found my way back to the Church and am in the process of having my daughter begin her religious education.  I have found that having an open and grateful heart facilitates all!

I am so looking forward to the Christmas season with a grateful heart.  And I am looking to see what challenges and blessings the new year will bring.

Outward Visible Sign. . .

March 17th 2012 or thereabouts. . . time to start on the yard.  It is a beautiful Spring day.   So warm it lulled me into planting my vegetable garden early this year.  Everything survived and mostly thrived, well, except for those couple of tomato plants that I never should have put in the ground.  But the brocolli, lettuce, spinach, and brussell sprouts did just fine!

The vegetable garden was the easy part. . .

My ex-husband (at this point he was my soon to be ex-husband) had moved out and left the house pretty much in a shambles.  There were construction materials either left all over the yard (from other jobs or trash picked or dumpster dived).  In addition there were four vehicles (none of which were in running condition) strategically parked as if they were "waiting for Godot".  It was all too much for one person. Thank God for my brother-in-law who alternately calms and focuses me and makes me crazy.  In this case, he said "let's get the 30 - 40 feet around the house cleaned up and your garden planted."  "It will make you feel better".  He was right.  So my brother-in-law, my brother, and I worked all day on that yard.   We tilled and planted my garden.  Mowed and fertilized the yard.  Cut back bushes.  Put down mulch.  Moved  a bunch of construction material (trash) away from the house.  And piled up as much trash as we could for the special pickup, bulk trash day.

And the cherry on top (there has to be a cherry on top), we moved the swing set closer to the house where my daughter could actually play on it.  Three years prior, a neighbor generously gave us a swing set with an attached "fort" and slide.  It was delivered in two pieces and separated in the yard.  There were several excuses why he would not put it together by the house for her to play on it.  His favorite reason was that he could not do it by himself and needed at least four men to help him.  So, I always asked him when he was going to invite people over to do it.  It was stupid of me to ask because I knew the answer was never.  It would not happen unless I invited people over to do it.  Even then I am sure it would have been a struggle to get it done.  But in my opinion the real reason he did not want to put it together near the house was pretty simple... he liked to drive his truck(s) through the yard (since the broken down and undrivable vehicles were parked forever in the driveway making the driveway basically unusable.   If the swing set was where I wanted it and where my daughter could easily play on it, it would stop him from being able to drive through the yard.  Just as an aside. . . it is amazing how nice the side and back yard look now that he is not driving on them anymore!   She and her friends play on it all the time now. . . I think that was the best thing that we accomplished all day!  She was surprised and happy when she got home!

Now the back of the yard still looked horrible.  I mean can you say redneck.  Here is what I am talking about. 

But the front looked great!

And so did the vegetable garden. 

This transformation was for me an outward visible sign that we were going to be alright.  That we were going to be able to get through this.  I could make this work.

Musings from the Kitchen Floor

From my seat on the kitchen floor, I see the uneven rough pieces of plaster and studs where a wall used to stand.  Beyond that, in the adjoining room there are walls torn down to the studs and a ceiling that has started to be framed.  There are exposed wires and broken and missing tiles and a radiator that sits like a sentinel in the middle of the floor. This is only one room.  There is an entire house around me that is in this state or worse.  And here is the real kicker. . . it is all mine.  The whole f-ing house is now mine.

Go back about eight months for a little background.  My contractor husband decided on New Years Eve that he would leave.  We had had some discussions in the preceding months regarding his unhappiness, but I was caught off guard.  In the "Dear Judy letter" he left he indicated that the kitchen would be done by our daughter's 7th birthday (4 weeks away) and my roof would be repaired in the Spring.  Well it is now September and most certainly has not lifted a finger.  Once the initial shock wore off and I peeled myself off the floor, I had to face the reality that I had to finish the renovation of my once beautiful Second Empire French Victorian house all by myself.  So I started, with the help of friends and family, to put together a plan.   First I had to get through the divorce, and then once the house was mine, the work could start.  But that did not mean that I could not start on the yard.  

View from the floor. . .
Guess the only way is up!